Giving Up Your Baby For Adoption As A Teen Mother: 3 Tips That Can Help With Processing Grief

Even if you practiced safe sex, accidents happen. In fact, recent studies show that 82% of teenage pregnancies are unintended. After hearing the news, you have essentially three options: get an abortion, have the baby and keep it or have the baby and give it up for adoption. If you've decided upon adoption, the road you'll be taking will not be easy. On top of having to deal with hormonal and physical body changes from giving birth, you'll also have to spend time finding ideal adoptive parents and, most importantly, learn how to process the grief of putting your baby up for adoption. Here are 3 tips that may be of help.

Take Some Time Off for Yourself

Giving birth while you're still a teenager can be tough. Depending on when you've gotten pregnant, you may feel pressured to go back to school. After giving birth and handing your baby to its adoptive parents, you'll likely be overwhelmed with numerous emotions. Don't try to suppress those emotions. Instead, make sure you take some time off for yourself in order to properly process everything.

Make plans with the school to perhaps put off several weeks or several months after birth to just take care of yourself without any added stress. Spend this time with supportive family members and friends instead. You should can even consider booking a mini vacation for yourself if you think it'll help you relax and work through your feelings.

Proactively Take Part in the Adoption Process Afterwards

Many mothers who put their babies up for adoption often feel depressed at the fact that they won't be able to provide the care and support that their babies need. Other mothers may feel fearful for what the future has in store for their babies. Don't let these feelings overwhelm you by proactively taking part in the adoption process even after you have giving birth. While you may have spent some time vetting the adoptive parents, you'll feel more assured if you take the time to see how the adoptive parents treat your baby.

Ask to be there when the adoptive parents receive your baby. You can even reach out to the adoptive parents after the adoption to see how the baby is going if you opted for an open adoption. If you're not comfortable, have a guardian or parent reach out on your behalf. You'll be able to see that your baby is getting the life that it deserves. This will help negative emotions to subside. If you opted for a closed adoption, some adoption agencies will reach out on your behalf just to see how the baby is doing and get an update as to how the baby has settled in its adoptive home.

Work Out Your Emotions through Counselling

Although giving up your baby for adoption may seem scary, you're not alone. Don't retreat into your own shell, as this will only make processing grief much harder and difficult. Reach out to your family members and friends to talk about your feelings, but, most importantly, get professional help by making sure you attend several counselling sessions at least. As a teenager, your body is going through a lot of hormonal changes, so expect to go on an emotional rollercoaster for a while.

A professional counsellor will help you work through your feelings and come to accept your predicament. A counsellor can also keep tabs on your mental health, and advise you whether you may need additional support or even prescribed medications to stay mentally healthy. Most adoption agencies offer free counselling services; however, if you feel more comfortable with your high school counsellor, you should consider speaking to them instead.


Deciding to put your baby up for adoption is a very brave thing to do. You're giving your baby a chance at a brighter future that you may not be able to offer. Giving up a baby for adoption is hard regardless of how old you may be. It's important that you tackle the situation head on in order to process grief properly and move on with your life without any regrets. For more information about placing a baby for adoption, visit websites like